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author | Brian Picciano <mediocregopher@gmail.com> | 2018-09-06 11:59:01 -0400 |
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committer | Brian Picciano <mediocregopher@gmail.com> | 2018-09-06 11:59:01 -0400 |
commit | 8c1c42913deb6a14f060c05e8a230c6aef23d948 (patch) | |
tree | 2a1d2c71fe5d960b7ccdf4c4f6a980aecade871a /_posts/2017-09-06-brian-bars.md | |
parent | 9a74b85f51943effcd57c2a858dc34edade05d9b (diff) |
rename post files to have padded 0 in month and day
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diff --git a/_posts/2017-09-06-brian-bars.md b/_posts/2017-09-06-brian-bars.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2c56272 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-09-06-brian-bars.md @@ -0,0 +1,105 @@ +--- +title: Brian Bars +description: >- + Cheap and easy to make, healthy, vegan, high-carb, high-protein. "The Good + Stuff". +updated: 2018-01-18 +--- + +It actually blows my mind it's been 4 years since I used this blog. It was +previously a tech blog, but then I started putting all my tech-related posts on +[the cryptic blog](https://cryptic.io). As of now this is a lifestyle/travel +blog. The me of 4 years ago would be horrified. + +Now I just have to come up with a lifestyle and do some traveling. + +## Recipe + +This isn't a real recipe because I'm not going to preface it with my entire +fucking life story. Let's talk about the food. + +Brian bars: + +* Are like Clif Bars, but with the simplicity of ingredients that Larabars have. +* Are easy to make, only needing a food processor (I use a magic bullet) and a + stovetop oven. +* Keep for a long time and don't really need refrigerating (but don't mind it + neither) +* Are paleo, vegan, gluten-free, free-range, grass-fed, whatever... +* Are really really filling. +* Are named after me, deal with it. + +I've worked on this recipe for a bit, trying to make it workable, and will +probably keep adjusting it (and this post) as time goes on. + +### Ingredients + +Nuts and seeds. Most of this recipe is nuts and seeds. Here's the ones I used: + +* 1 cup almonds +* 1 cup peanuts +* 1 cup walnuts +* 1 cup coconut flakes/shavings/whatever +* 1/2 cup flax seeds +* 1/2 cup sesame seeds + +For all of those above it doesn't _really_ matter what nuts/seeds you use, it's +all gonna get ground up anyway. So whatever's cheap works fine. Also, avoid +salt-added ones if you can. + +The other ingredients are: + +* 1 cup raisins/currants +* 1.5 lbs of pitted dates (no added sugar! you don't need it!) +* 2 cups oats + +### Grind up the nuts + +Throw the nuts into the food processor and grind them into a powder. Then throw +that powder into a bowl along with the seeds, coconuts, raisins, and oats, and +mix em good. + +I don't _completely_ grind up the nuts, instead leaving some chunks in it here +and there, but you do you. + +### Prepare the dates + +This is the harder part, and is what took me a couple tries to get right. The +best strategy I've found is to steam the dates a bit over a stove to soften +them. Then, about a cup at a time, you can throw them in the food processor and +turn them into a paste. You may have to add a little water if your processor is +having trouble. + +Once processed you can add the dates to the mix from before and stir it all up. +It'll end up looking something like cookie dough. Except unlike cookie dough +it's completely safe to eat and maybe sorta healthy. + +### Bake it, Finish it + +Put the dough stuff in a pan of some sort, flatten it out, and stick it in the +oven at like 250 or 300 for a few hours. You're trying to cook out the water you +added earlier when you steamed the dates, as well as whatever little moisture +the dates had in the first place. + +Once thoroughly baked you can stick the pan in the fridge to cool and keep, +and/or cut it up into individual bars. Keep in mind that the bars are super +filling and allow for pretty small portions. Wrap em in foil or plastic wrap and +take them to-go, or keep them around for a snack. Or both. Or whatever you want +to do, it's your food. + +### Cleanup + +Dates are simultaneously magical and the most annoying thing to work with, so +there's cleanup problems you may run into with them: + +Protip #1: When cleaning your processed date slime off of your cooking utensils +I'd recommend just letting them soak in water for a while. Dry-ish date slime +will stick to everything, while soaked date slime will come right off. + +Protip #2: Apparently if you want ants, dates are a great way to get ants. My +apartment has never had an ant problem until 3 hours after I made a batch of +these and didn't wipe down my counter enough. I'm still dealing with the ants. +Apparently there's enviromentally friendly ant poisons where the ants happily +carry the poison back into the nest and the whole nest eats it and dies. Which +feels kinda mean in some way, but is also pretty clever and they're just ants +anyway so fuck it. |